The Little Book of Yes

The Little Book of Yes, by Noah Goldstein, Steve J. Martin, and Robert B. Cialdini, contains 21 short essays about persuasion. The publisher's listing confirms the title and authors.

Make a request easier to understand

Here is an original Nuxflo exercise. A reading group needs help arranging chairs. Compare “Could someone help with the event?” with “Could you help arrange twelve chairs from 5:30 to 5:45 on Thursday? It is fine to decline; I am checking availability before assigning jobs.”

The second request specifies the task, time, and freedom to say no. That lets the recipient assess the actual commitment. It does not establish that the wording will increase agreement in every group, but it does remove several ambiguities in the first version.

Check what agreement means

If someone agrees, confirm whether they understood the same task. A higher number of yeses would be a poor measure of success if volunteers felt pressured, expected a shorter job, or could not follow through. For this example, a useful outcome includes an informed commitment and a workable event plan.

Now imagine adding “Everyone else has already agreed” when that is false. The wording may exert pressure, but it introduces deception. A persuasion technique does not make an inaccurate claim acceptable. Similarly, inventing a deadline prevents the other person from assessing the real choice.

Read with an ethical boundary

For each suggestion, ask whether the recipient has accurate information, understands what is requested, and can decline without an invented penalty. Also ask whether a result from a particular setting is relevant to your own. A tactic is not a universal law of behavior.

Choose this short book for examining how requests are presented. For understanding how to remain open when the other person's answer challenges your own view, continue with The Scout Mindset.